A year into their relationship, Jess and Nate got engaged by the sea. "It was a golden, sandy beach—empty and secluded," says Jess, 26. "It was just the two of us, so it was really intimate."
However, the couple were actually hundreds of miles apart, role-playing their engagement in the video game World of Warcraft.
Nate, 27, was living just outside London, while Jess was in Wales. After meeting briefly at an esports event in Germany in March 2023, they developed a long-distance relationship, playing the game together "from the moment we woke up to the moment we went to bed," says Nate.
The couple still plays the game every day, even though they've been living together in Manchester since March 2024. They know other couples who have also met through video games. "It's a different way of meeting someone," says Jess. "You both already have a strong mutual love for something, so it's easier to fall in love."
Nate agrees. "I was able to build a much stronger connection with people I met through gaming than I ever could on a dating app." Nate and Jess are not alone. Some experts say that people of their generation are moving away from dating apps and finding love on platforms not specifically designed for romance.
Spending time online in a space focused on a shared interest or hobby can help people find a partner in a low-pressure setting, rather than marketing themselves to a gallery of strangers. For some digital-native Gen Zs, simply doing what they enjoy can be an alternative to the pressure of swiping through dating apps.
Internet dating at 30 - a turning point? Since its debut with the launch of match.com 30 years ago, online dating has fundamentally changed our relationships. According to the Pew Research Center, about 10% of heterosexual people and 24% of LGBT people have met their long-term partner online.
But evidence suggests that young people are moving away from dating apps, with the UK's top 10 apps seeing a nearly 16% decrease, according to a report by Ofcom in November 2024. Tinder lost 594,000 users, while Hinge dropped by 131,000, Bumble by 368,000, and Grindr by 11,000, the report stated (a Grindr spokesperson mentioned they were "not familiar with this study's source data" and that their UK users "continue to rise year over year").
A 2023 Axios study of US college students and other Gen Zers found that 79% said they were avoiding regular use of dating apps. In its 2024 Online Nation report, Ofcom noted: "Some analysts speculate that for younger people, especially Gen Z, the novelty of dating apps is fading." In a January 2024 letter to shareholders, Match Group Inc - which owns Tinder and Hinge - acknowledged that younger people were looking for "a lower pressure, more authentic way to find connections."
"The idea of using a shared interest to meet someone isn't new, but it's been reinvented in this particular moment in time – it signals a desire of Gen Z," says Carolina Bandinelli, an associate professor at Warwick University whose research focuses on digital technologies of romance.